The Moldy Doily

the great mystery

"If you have chosen raven, magic is in the air" Britt made me pull a card from her spirit animal fortune deck. This was on the day that it seemed my world had slightly fallen apart. I know this is some serious hippie stuff, but trust me it just about saved my life. the card continues... "if you have chosen raven, magic is in the air, do not try to figure it out; you cannot. It is the power of the unknown at work and something special is about too happen." it talks about how you must recognize this power and how to use it to further advance your growth, the raven carries the message. "Raven magic is powerful medicine that can give you the courage to enter the darkness of the void, which is the home of all that is not yet in form. The void is called the Great Mystery. The Great Mystery existed before all other things came into being. If RAVEN is the card you have chosen...you are about to experience a change of consciousness. Let me preface this fortune card scenario with my 2 hour sleep the night before, waking up weary, thinking that this is going to be a long road ahead- and then fetching coffee with Britt at the cafe. After confessing I felt totally depressed, we heard an old Janet Jackson song ( real oldie, something about take me on an escapade or something?) and then we burst out laughing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the song is so dated, or Janet's life seeming so much weirder than mine, the moment had a comic relief soundtrack. I then went home and laid in my bed. Where I cried for another 2.5 hours, occasionally on the phone to other people. Which isn't pretty, I know, but this story gets better folks I promise. So at that point I call Fran and say...let's go shopping. Which is normally some excursion to buy clothes, but not me, not yesterday (not in that condition). I ended up on the 4th of July in Pasadena, where I purchased this: Because as I see the situation, if you don't like where you're at in life...get a brand new car and drive away to something better, right?? HELLO my new pal A/C and c.d. player. Where have you been all my life? No more vintage cars for me. That Sanford and Son saga was growing tired. Now I'm gonna lug my artwork in style. Paintings 4X4 are gonna slide in with ease. There is nothing like the feeling: stepping into a new car that someone signed off to you and then driving off the lot. Then I saw this animal display on my block, pretty silly We drove the new car to Chinatown for FIRECRACKER. We ran into Becky Stark and her boyfriend Ron- and ate dinner with them Frohawk 2Feathers Gaslamp Killer and Kutmah- brothers Fro the girls met Mr. America Today at the shop, we had a super mega trashy FLAPPER sale. For those of you who haven't been to one, it pretty much is a swapping bonanza of crazy costumes, ridiculous ice skating type dresses you will never need, and more. I lucked out and scored a cool crystal heart necklace that is very 20's, a sexy trashy slip and a fringe scarf dress here's Desi, hasn't missed a sale since she was around 13. She has been to nearly every one. Future Flapper drawn to the piles of flashy clothes here's one gypsy on the mend. Pretty soon pure bliss will be re-activated

seeking spotless mind

I am unable to sleep. Have you ever managed to cry yourself to sleep somehow only to wake up at 5 a.m. by the dreaded thought, "yesterday was real". It wasn't a dream, it all really happened. The days and nights seem longer than I remembered. I'm exhausted. There is always a way out. I just haven't figured it all out yet. Hope you find some fun this 4th of July. Did I mention it's raining this 4th of July in Ohio? At least something is constant

romeo void

I found this entry in my 7th grade diary. I have always loved a good ol PIZZA PARTY. In fact according to my mother "Pizza" was my first real word. She said our dive apt building in Ohio was near a flashing NEON sign that spelled P I Z Z A. Tonight Fran and I finally got to utilize our special prank on Scheid. We ordered a pizza from Buona and then coated it with: G O O G L E EYES!!!! When David opened the box, he jumped back 3 feet as if it was a pizza monster when not focused on pizza and pranks in my head over and over the words stay intact. They are hard to misplace, hard to erase. I wish that everything could be over faster. On my internal radio this song by romeo void keeps playing: girl in trouble --------------- She's got a face that shows that she knows She's heard every line Tenderly she talks on the phone There's a way to walk That says "Stay away" And a time to go around the long way A girl in trouble is a temporary thing (Temporary, Temporary, Temporary, Temporary) A girl in trouble is a temporary thing (Temporary, Temporary, Temporary, Temporary) There's a time when every girl learns To use her head Tears will be saved 'Til they're better spent There's no time for her to be afraid So instead she takes care of business Keeps a cool head A girl in trouble is a temporary thing (Temporary, Temporary, Temporary, Temporary) A girl in trouble is a temporary thing (Temporary, Temporary, Temporary, Temporary) She's got a face that shows that she knows She's heard every line Tenderly she talks on the phone There's a way to walk That says "Stay away" And a time to go around the long way A girl in trouble is a temporary thing (Temporary, Temporary, Temporary, Temporary) A girl in trouble is a temporary thing (Temporary, Temporary, Temporary, Temporary) A girl in trouble is a temporary thing

the only thing that can make you forget

In those moments where you've heard the words that you never wish to hear, and fear something may in fact be true, nothing can ease the pain. You can pretend that you are going to be ok, but you really don't believe it. It feels as if someone has taken a knife and slowly stuck it deep in your belly. Time seems to stop all around you and it's as if nothing will ever be the same again. I'm not going to get into deep feelings here on my blog, because words are cheap. I have had the longest day possible, and perhaps the best way to remedy this awful feeling is to overload my brain with the prettiest of thoughts and images. Couture colors that creep in and cover up tears. I have to believe that every letdown is part of some bigger picture and process and eventually this will give way to reveal something better. So in my effort to obliterate these words in my head, to replace the knot in my stomach, to knock over the regret, let me show you the best possible happiness replacement... thank you Mr. Galliano, Mr. LaCroix, and the rest of you for helping me get through the longest day. I have to admit, that the comments I receive on my blog are a real boost. So thanks to you folks who are always leaving me cool comments and sharing.

flaunting youth

I've been working the past month on some artwork for the new issue of FLAUNT magazine. I am elated of course, because they are known for having the coolest covers. The issue features young stars Jim Sturgess (21 and Across the Universe) and Anne Hathaway (Devil Wears Prada). The best part is that the cover content was supposed to reflect "Young Love, Heartache- heartbreak- teen angst" my specialty. Here's some sneak peek looks at some of the images and how it may all end up. (By the way- for those fans of "jim" the cover is by no means a reflection of anyone in particular- it's not "your jim" doing naughty things. The cover is simply a reflection of youth and young LOVE. So don't get too crazy and start leaving me more messages about how "Your Jim isn't like that".) I'm excited to see how they tricked out the logo font- because they are always playing around with cool new ways to make the covers POP. One summer the issue came shrink wrapped with REAL SAND. Anyway- this is set to hit newsstands for July, so keep your eyes open next week for it. I'm not sure how it will all look layered together, but it may be something like this... They also usually have a big party to celebrate the issue here in L.A. I think this one is at the end of July.

she comes in colors...

My friend Annakim recently played dress up, and had her makeup done like a rainbow warrior. She also had the perfect outfit for the occasion...her brand new Alexander McQueen Butterfly print dress. She said although it cost and arm and a leg, she plans on wearing it to her colorful wedding. That's one wedding, btw, that I don't want to miss. The man that matches her palette is going to fly off the color chart. He will be one part nocturnal glampire, one part dandy, one part forest fairy, one part musician, and the rest pure animal- or snake?

the BIG picture

That cool ART VIDEO job that I worked on will be having a debut this FRIDAY night in Century City! That's a real 4th of July BANG- fireworks- huge video projections and drinks by the POOL. The Intercontinental Hotel will be screening the film , directed by Ricardo Rivera (with my art and styling) on the entire 17 story side of the building. IF you are not busy it's gonna be a fun party. There is a pool and of course luxury suites. here's a clip: Film clip http://www.klip.tv/gyro/IC/ICshopping_oval_webpreview.mov film clip 2 *********************************************************************** event info--2151 AVENUE OF THE STARS • LOS ANGELES, CA, 90067 • UNITED STATES Front Desk: +1-310-2846500 • Fax: +1-310-2846501

putting the Oh- in ohio

About 6 days ago I wrote the following passage but never posted it... Well, I leave today. The past few months have sort of been a blur of activity. I am anxious to leave and yet in desperate need of time away. Poor Boo is not pleased with the situation and upon seeing suitcases chose to pout for the day in a nearby box. At the moment he is asleep on my suitcase, in some effort to not be left behind. Mr. Georgie Boy doesn't mind if Kutmah takes care of him, they are old pals. Here's where I will update my trip back home- to Ohio: Let's begin with my greeting at the Cleveland airport by my sister and niece. Awesome welcome, we ended up watching 16 Candles til we all fell asleep on my Mom's bed. 2 things I realized while watching 1.) that I could recite that movie word for word 2.) Jake Ryan is universally transcending all sense of time on the hotness scale. The next day we shopped in my old hometown. This is the point where I realized that having children under 4 is not only demanding but exhausting (and may I add expensive). My sister has a small army over at her place. A one and half year old, a 3 year old and a 12 year old in addition to her Alpaca animal farm (6+ alpaca, 2 bulldogs, 1 weiner dog, too many cats to count). Lucky for her there are 6 acres to get lost in. this is what having a lot of kids looks like: I am nervous whenever I go home. It has something to do with the overwhelming sense of nostalgia that hits in waves and causes me to lose my appetite. I think everything is stirring my thoughts in the direction of the past. I notice lovely green yards with 4th of July banners and white picket fences. My mother points to a small house with rows of little flags and lets me know that a young soldier has recently died there. Something about hearing this information and the long drive home makes me want to cry. I remember myself at age 11 eating pork and beans and deviled eggs in the backyard of our neighbors place, near my old house. The year that my dad ran directly into a pipe (that had positioned a bottle rocket) and ended up in an ambulance bleeding from a gashed kneecap. On fourth of July in Ohio it always seemed to rain and always seemed to be sort of a blur. There are funny little places in Ohio, where crafty ladies create Martha Stewart like home-wares. Were talking lots of felt flowers, paint markers and glitter. My niece was way into them. Too bad they cost a small fortune. We often end up in these generic diners where every man is dressed in baggy pleated Dockers and older ladies with grey hair faintly tinted pink huddle over soggy eggs. That doesn't freak me out as much as the haunting soundtrack to my youth pouring out of the speakers at these eateries. First there is Psychedelic Furs "Love my way" and then "Blue Monday" by new order. And no one notices it, these sounds that drag me back to high school glory days. Everyone continues to talk slow, or not at all all the while my heart sinking. I want to drive around at night looking for action and parties. I imagine all of the stolen kisses in closets and dance sequences in the basement. None of this will occur on my trip down memory lane. I meet later for dinner with my father...the staunch McCain supporter, who talks politics til his face is red. He rambles about the problems with left-coast ideals and as his words blur I notice that Echo and the Bunnymen is playing on the radio. "killing moon" is the soundtrack to his rant, and mysteriously on the sound system of a conservative upper class cafe. As if a reminder that at one time there was something slightly cool here. My father tells me the elaborate (perhaps exaggerated) story about my great great grandma who was a true matriarch and owner of much of the land in that town. Her Italian roots spread deep throughout much of this little Ohio township. She was Sopranos before the Sopranos. According to old family lore, she heard her 2nd husband married her for money and shot him in the leg. The next day my mom takes me to my High School where she has to pick up a paycheck. We enter in the art wing where I spent much of my teen angst years. I peered into the empty classroom and remembered mostly the stale stench of my teachers breath. She had this amazing stare, her eyes mostly dilated and pale pale blue. I heard she passed away some years back. She was pretty awesome and did much to encourage my art. On the wall in that school wing they still had my art awards framed. I couldn't believe it. The lockers seemed bigger to me now. The smell of dusty maps or something inside of old books present in the vacant rooms. there are strange things sometime in Ohio, like these crafts. We discovered them in a creepy swap meet flea market

Things I did while in Ohio? 1.) gazed at the alpaca family grazing in the yard: 2.) attend an antique doll show 3.) jumped on various Hotel beds like I can't do at home. This photo is from the worst of my hotel rooms. They declined daily. (did I mention that the biggest letdown is spending cash on a nice room only to barely use the posh features ie: hot tub, pool, game room, minibar or BIG T.V.) 4.) watching your young nephews get locked out, and freak out. Then see them entertained for hours and hours simply by leaping off furniture into a pile of pillows: I especially love this picture of my nephew Ryder in my big hat. He has a nice fashion fetish and the perfect accessory- Skittles. 5.) saw old pals from the days way back. Most happy to see my best friend from High School Liisa. We were pretty much inseparable in those days. And always getting into trouble together, so it's funny that she ended up marrying a cop. That should keep her in line. Now you know why I slather on the 70 sunblock? The days of Boleros and savage tans is over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The best night ever was in my last hotel room. My niece and sister came over for a good old fashioned slumber party. We watched a dvd, ran to the border at midnight (Taco Bell) Did I mention we did it Britney S. style--barefoot in p.j.s? Then we laughed and laughed about the police officers everywhere, and how we could be taken in if they're fashion police. We stumbled upon a jeep covered front to back with thick mud. Super scary and lawless like a serial killer (or hunter?). I think I've seen a Law and Order episode start out this way.